I’m sure you’ve noticed that it’s been a little quiet around here. My excuse is… Well, I don’t have one, to be honest. I just got out of the habit is all. I suppose the positive side to this is that I’ve got lots to catch up on, right?

To start the ball rolling, here’s a recipe that I make at least once a week at the moment. Perfect for tea parties, picnics, smuggling into the cinema… The list is endless.

Makes 8 sizeable beauties, or about a million smaller ones

16oz self-raising flour
4oz butter
250ml milk
Either:
4oz sugar (for plain scones)
2oz sugar and 2oz fruit (for fruit scones)
4oz grated sharp cheese (for cheese scones)

Heat your oven to 200 degrees centigrade/gas mark 6.

Mix together the butter (and sugar, if you’re using it) and flour. Add the milk a little at a time, and stop when it reaches a workable dough. Add the fruit or three quarters of the cheese, depending on which flavour you’re going for. Mix throroughly.

Roll out the dough to about an inch thick and cut into rounds. Arrange on a floured baking tray, and brush the tops with a little milk. Add the rest of the cheese, or a little granulated sugar to finish.

Pop in the oven for about 15 minutes, or until they are just a little beyond golden brown on the top. Leave to cool on a wire rack, and serve with enormous quantities of butter.

Photo: Mad Tea Party, Disneyland Park, by Mastery of Maps

2 and 3 Tahini and Marmite In joint position, as they work best jointly. Spread them on toast together, add some tomato slices, and grill to perfection – it rivals all other On Toast dishes. Or add both to fried mushrooms for a saucy breakfast.

4 Nutritional Yeast Flakes Pukey name, looks like fish food, but sprinkle on top of a lasagne and you get a yummy browned, cheesy crust. Or sprinkle on salad. Or eat straight from the tub. The brand name is Engevita. I can only apologise for the non-appealing-ness of this product. It’s like the ugly loner girl at school who is secretly scintillating.

5 Faith in Nature Shower Gel Reasonably priced and cleans you good and proper. Sticky deodorant scum be gone.

6 Alpro Soya Chocolate Desserts Oh dear, the second chocolate mousse related item on my list. It’s yum. The vanilla one’s not bad either.

7 Coconut Milk / Creamed Coconut Since going vegan I’ve discovered the wonderful world of curry-making. Add coconut for a creamy taste, or cook your rice in coconut milk – luxurious.

8 Bourbons and HobNobs Hooray! Biscuits that are secretly vegan!

9 Seitan My favourite meat used to be duck. Lucky, then, that seitan, aka fake duck, exists. I’ve not cooked at home with it yet, but I’ve had it in vege restaurants and it makes an authentic crispy duck pancake.

10 Proper plain chocolate Green and Blacks recently added milk to their plain chocolate. Why? Proper plain choc, with no dairy, is so so so much nicer. Don’t stand for any milky nonsense in your plain chocolate.

And one to avoid…

Vegan Cream Cheese Just wrong. Do not treat this as if it is somehow related to Philadelphia. It is not. It is deeply untasty. (Though to be fair, mixed with enough marg and icing sugar it makes a decent fairycake frosting. So it is partly forgiven.)

I present to you the only houmous recipe I’ve actually liked (and believe me, I’ve tried them all). It’s not a fancy-schmancy one with loads of complicated flavours or chewy bits added, but that’s the appeal for me – I love the simple, fresh taste and smooth-but-grainy consistency you get with this one.

1 400g tin of chickpeas
2 tbsp light tahini
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp lemon juice
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
loads of salt and pepper

Drain half of the water from the tin of chickpeas (if you’re not sure how much you’ve drained, err towards keeping less water – you can always add more later, but if it’s too watery there’s not much you can do).

Put the chickpeas and remaining water in the blender. Add the tahini, olive oil, lemon juice, garlic and seasoning.

Blend. If it’s too gritty, add a little water and blend some more – bear in mind that it should be a bit grainy, though.

Et voila – delicious houmous. A whole tub of it, in fact, for very little money.

Photo: Chickpeas, by Mink

As the name suggests, the authors work their way through vintage cookbooks, seeing how the recipes measure up to modern tastes and (hopefully) rediscovering lost retro cuisine gems on the way.

There’s a cheery mix of genuine enthusiasm and gentle mockery for the tastes of the past, along with some great photographs of the books – excellent fodder for fans of unintentionally hilarious food photography.

Speaking of unintentionally hilarious food photography (as I often do), here’s a link to one of my favourite sites for when I’m feeling down – let’s call it an early Christmas present from me: Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974. Bon appetit!

I’m all about the soup at the moment. Soup soup soup. Ohm nom soup. Yay for soup. Anyway. I made a very tasty squash and chorizo soup t’other day and I thought that I’d share the recipe (read: improvisation) with you. If you can wait that long, this soup is even better the next day.

:: two little squashes
:: one onion
:: one red pepper
:: half a chorizo sausage
:: two pints of vegetable stock

Peel and cube the squash (squashes?), place on a baking tray, sprinkle some olive oil and basil, and roast in the oven until soft. Dice and fry the onion and red pepper. Blend the roasted squash, onion, and pepper with the stock (whizz, whizz, whizz), pour into a pan and return to a low heat. Dice and fry the chorizo and then mix into the soup. Serve with any yummy type of bread.

Photo: Squishy squashes, by ink & keys

This recipe is based on a couple of others that I tried out – particularly this one at Cupcake Blog, which is where I got the idea in the first place – but I think I’ve added enough tweaks to legitimately claim this one as my own. The main difference is that I prefer to leave the honey out of the cupcakes – I find that a simple vanilla flavour works well with the salty-sweet-honey-peanut extravaganza, and I like the texture better that way. I also simplify things somewhat by going with self-raising flour and salted peanuts, and have done my usual trick of making far more frosting than anyone else recommends (partly because I like to really overload these babies, and partly because I eat so much of it while I’m making it).

Makes 12

For the cupcakes:
150g butter
150g castor sugar
180g self-raising flour
3 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 generous handful of salted peanuts

For the frosting:
2 tbsp thick honey
200g cream cheese
100g butter
400g icing sugar
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Line a 12 cup muffin pan with cupcake cups.

Roughly chop the peanuts, and put about a tablespoon’s worth to one side.

Cream the butter and sugar. In a separate bowl, beat the eggs. Now combine the eggs, flour and vanilla extract with the butter and sugar.

Half-fill the cups with the mixture, then add a layer of salted peanuts to each. Now top them up with the rest of the mixture.

Pop the cupcakes in the oven and bake for 12-15 mins (or however long it takes your oven) until they’re a pale golden brown and a toothpick comes out clean. When they’re done, place them on a wire rack to cool.

Using an electric mixer, combine the honey, cream cheese, icing sugar and butter.

Spoon or pipe an even amount of the frosting on to each cupcake, and then top with a sprinkling of the leftover peanuts.

Photo: Honey! by wpbarr

Vanessa may be all about the pumpkin pie right now, but for me there’s only one sweet pie worth writing about. Without further ado, I present to you my ultimate nights-are-drawing-in recipe: sweet, nutty, syrup-y pecan pie.

For the pastry:
8 oz plain flour
4 oz butter
1 oz caster sugar
1 egg yolk
1 pinch salt
not much cold water

For the filling:
4oz butter
4oz golden syrup
1 tsp vanilla extract
8oz dark brown sugar
3 eggs
10oz pecan nuts, halved

NB: This recipe was intended for one large-ish pie, but I used it to make two small (7″) ones instead. It works either way, it seems, but bear in mind that it’ll cook differently.

1. Pastry time! Sift together the flour and salt, rub it together with the butter, add the sugar, add the egg yolk and then stick in a wee bit of cold water to get it to the right consistency. Then stick it in the fridge for half an hour or so.

2. Preheat the oven to 180C.

2. Filling time! Slowly melt the butter, syrup, sugar and vanilla essence together in a saucepan. When it’s all gloopy, put it in the fridge for ten minutes or so.

3. While the gloop is cooling, roll out your pastry and put it in the tin(s). Beat your eggs and arrange your pecan halves in the pastry case(s). Now the gloop ought to be cool.

3. Add the beaten eggs to the cooled gloop and give it a good stir.

4. Pour the gloop over the pecan halves.

5. Put pie(s) in oven. The recipe I used improvised freely around said to cook it for 40-50 mins, but I think that’s only for large pies. That, or my oven runs WAY hot. My two small pies were done in about 20 mins. The trick is to keep an eye on the pastry – when it looks done, it is done. Don’t worry about the filling – it’ll set a little as it cools.

6. Eat pie.

Photo: Elliott Pecan Halves, by Old Shoe Woman

This week, I got adventurous in the kitchen and made mousse. I’d never really thought about making mousse before, but I found this recipe in a book we’re publishing at work next year and I had to give it a go. Even if it meant melting gelatine and whisking until my arms fell off. Bejesus!

:: juice and zest of 3 limes (you won’t use all the juice)
:: 2 tsp powdered gelatine
:: 3 tbsp Malibu
:: 3 eggs
:: 45g caster sugar
:: 150ml whipping cream
:: 1 tbsp chopped fresh mint
:: crumbled brown sugar and white chocolate shavings, to serve

Put a tablespoon of lime juice into a saucepan, sprinkle the gelatine over and let it stand for 5 minutes. Then add the Malibu and heat over a low heat for a couple of minutes, stirring until the gelatine is dissolved. Switch the heat off and allow to cool slightly. Using an electric hand-whisk, whisk the eggs and sugar in a heatproof bowl set over a pan of simmering water for about 3 minutes until pale and the beaters leave a ribbon-like trail when lifted. Remove from the heat and continue to whisk until the bowl is cool to the touch. Fold the gelatine mixture into the eggs, then place the bowl in a cold
bain-marie (another dish or bowl filled with cold water and ice). Stir every so often with a large metal spoon in a figure-of-eight shape until it is just beginning to set. Whip the cream until it holds its shape, stir in the lime zest and chopped mint, then fold into the egg mixture with a metal spoon. Spoon into the shot glasses (I spooned mine into chocolate cups instead) and leave to set in the fridge for at least an hour, topping with crumbled brown sugar and white chocolate shavings. If you prefer, you could use some coconut syrup (for coffee) instead of the Malibu, or omit it altogether (I actually used elderflower cordial, which was yummy).

Photo: lime and mint mousse, by ink & keys

This might be the unhealthiest thing that I have ever baked (so much oil! so much sugar!), but – damn! – is it tasty! My New Yorker friend Genn has been educating me on all things pumpkin and passed on this recipe…

:: 3 cups sugar
:: 1 cup vegetable oil
:: 4 eggs
:: 2 cups canned pumpkin (I used fresh pumpkin, roasted until soft and then blended)
:: 2/3 cup water
:: 3 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
:: 2 tsp. baking soda
:: 1 1/2 tsp. salt
:: 1 tsp. ground cinnamon
:: 1 tsp. ground nutmeg
:: 1/2 to 3/4 cup chopped pecans or walnuts

Preheat oven to 350/175 degrees. Grease and flour 2 loaf pans. Mix sugar and oil with mixer. Add eggs and blend. Add pumpkin and blend. Add water and blend. Combine remaining ingredients and add slowly. Fill pans equally and bake for 1 hour or until golden brown.

I filled two loaf pans (okay, cake tins – I have no idea where my loaf pans have gone…) and still had enough mixture for twelve muffins. I baked the muffins for 25 minutes and the ‘loaves’ for forty to accommodate for the lack of proper apparatus. I was very happy for the opportunity to try out my funky silicone muffin cases, though – they’re ace beans!

-wholewheat dough
- parmesan cheese (fresh grated)
- prosciotto ham
- eggs
- tomato sauce

Roll out your dough (or stretch into a weird triangle shape – so long as it’s thin enough, right?), spread with tomato sauce OR tear up loads of fresh spinach and add a little olive oil and garlic; cover in the ham, then grate on the parmesan cheese. Finally, crack two eggs on top. Shove it all in the oven at 450f for 15 minutes. Et voila! Delicious home-made pizza. Oh food network, how I love your silly shows with excellent recipes.

I was tempted to also make my Secret Comfort Food of Shame which is just cheese sauce. I eat with bread, or a spoon. Fairly inexplicable I know, but it works. What are your best and weirdest comfort foods?